@The_JRM: Automatic doors don't work when running full speed. I know that now.
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@kevinrowe1: I told my wife I wanted to be cremated. She made me an appointment for tomorrow afternoon.
@That_Matt2: You will feel dumb when we find out the guy who headshotted Harambe was from the future trying to prevent Planet of the Apes..
@SteveInevitable: While texting a girl she told me "I'm board" so I stopped seeing her. I wasn't offended. I just don't date wood. Or people who can't spell.
@Schmoodles: #ThoughtsInMyHead 1. How much wine can a cat drink? 2. How do you resuscitate a drunk cat? 3. Will they do an autopsy on a dead cat?