@The_JRM: Automatic doors don't work when running full speed. I know that now.
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@AnkCoupleTO: I was in the mood for nuts this morning so I chased a squirrel for 3 miles and the little prick led me right to his stash, yum!
@torrami: Babysitting Pro Tip: Make them play Dungeons & Dragons until they love it so their parents will never have to worry about teenage pregnancy.
@StinkyGr33n: I'm still angry about those Oreo Thins. I'm here waiting for TripleStuf and QuadrupleStuf and they're all "we went the other way with it."
@JennyJohnsonHi5: When I was a kid I was so afraid of being kidnapped until my mom assured me there was no way in Hell anyone would ever want to take me.