@The_JRM: Automatic doors don't work when running full speed. I know that now.
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@tayandmae: U know your mind is gone when u get out of bath and realize u only shaved one leg Unless u only have one leg... Then you're good
@XplodingUnicorn: Me: Eat your vegetables. They make you smarter. 3-year-old: *hands me a carrot* You need this more than I do.
@_Bankrobber_: FUN GAME: when someone tells you the name of their new baby, repeat it back to them, with their surname, and say "Like the murderer?!"
@BuckyIsotope: My rap name is Weapons of Mass Destruction because you go in thinking I'm going to destroy you but it turns out I've got absolutely nothing.