@Gooooats: Avenge me! But only through passive aggressively commenting loudly around my murderer how great it would be to still have me alive.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@Brampersandon_: ME: so what do you do GUY: I'm an oral surgeon ME: *imagining him doing heart surgery with just his mouth* wow I bet you're a helluva kisser
@PaperWash: Mother's Day is just an another made up holiday so the government can sell you more mothers
@primawesome: A lady just walked into Taco Bell, dumped every hot sauce packet in her bag and left. I should follow her. What's the rest of her day like?