@thenatewolf: Avocados are like women: soft inside, dinosaur skin outside, big cricket ball in the middle, all the good ones are taken...
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@edgarrants: The best part of being old for the holidays? Nobody bats an eye when you 'randomly fall asleep' in the middle of a conversation.
@MableGertrude: I would pay big bucks to Sea World to see a dolphin fly out of a water tank into the stands and start rolling around and eating people.
@UnFitz: Bought a shirt in the UK. Care instructions say "iron whilst damp." I still have no idea when to iron that thing.