@thenatewolf: Avocados are like women: soft inside, dinosaur skin outside, big cricket ball in the middle, all the good ones are taken...
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@LifesGoodThing: My wife and I toss a coin to settle arguments; heads she wins, tails I apologise.
@JeremyInKC: Of course your milkshake brings the boys to the yard. What boy doesn't love milkshakes? If your asparagus brought em, then I'd be impressed.
@DiamondGirl127: "Iowa man arrested after fight over peanut butter and jelly sandwiches" - I'm just gonna assume this is 1 of you guys
@Donna_McCoy: Sorry, I can't be around you today. The temptation to smack you in the face is just too great.