@thenatewolf: Avocados are like women: soft inside, dinosaur skin outside, big cricket ball in the middle, all the good ones are taken...
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@ThaJawn: Dad Rabbit: Who is this Daughter Rabbit: My BF Emo BF Rabbit: gotta go babe, My band Bad Hare Cut has practice *flips ears away from eyes
@waydybee: whenever someone i know introduces me to someone else i say, "oh, this is the one u were talking about" &watch the awkward stares!
@BuckyIsotope: JESUS: *descends from heaven* HELLO- ME: question JESUS: I- ME: do the cars from the movie Cars have sex? JESUS: *ascends back into heaven*
@DanMentos: *guy struggling to pick his teeth with a toothpick* Narrator: Don't you wish there were a better way? -commercial for business cards