@thenatewolf: Avocados are like women: soft inside, dinosaur skin outside, big cricket ball in the middle, all the good ones are taken...
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@AdriannaLaCervx: I squish my belly fat around during serious conversations because I have intimacy issues.
@TommyWallace: "Yeah I just really enjoy playing devil's avocado sometimes" Teacher: devil's advocate? Me [grabbing trident and avocado costume]: no.
@Fred_Delicious: "tell me doc, is it bad news?" "you've got piles" ... "piles of health that is! LOL" ... "except in your legs. gonna have to amputate those"