@sixfootcandy: Avoid being invited back to a party by showing up with a 25-gallon jug of lube and a box of rubber gloves.
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@NicestHippo: The inventor of the toilet must've had a rough time at his presentation. "Oh here comes Gary with his poop throne idea"
@JohnLyonTweets: Just watched The Hobbit: The Battle to Stay Awake for What Felt Like Five Hours.