@GensPlace: Avoid cars that have a sign saying 'baby on board'. That driver has only had a couple of hours sleep and is likely to be suicidal.
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@GirrlGenius: If my body is ever found dead on a jogging trail, just know I was murdered elsewhere and dumped there.
@jonnysun: "building-building building building building-building building" (translatiom: structur-making tower makimg another structure-making tower)
@UncleDuke1969: Wife: You were right. Me: Say it again. Wife: You were right. Me: Again. Wife: You were right. Me: One more time. Wife: You wer- *wakes up*
@davidkenny100: It's impossible to be a parent and stay on twitter so I'm afraid it's time to say goodbye. So this is your uncle, you live with him now.