@Parentpains: Avoid confrontations in the work place by slashing your coworker's tires while they sleep.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@Ideal_Victoria: I only have sex with the lights off to prevent having to explain some of my tattoos.
@UberFacts: Each time a person sneezes on an airplane, that sneeze circulates the entire airplane cabin before being filtered out by vents.
@Underchilde: My parents are in town and said they’d be at my house in ten minutes, and I’m wondering if that’s enough time to build a moat.
@carlyken: A psychiatrist is just a friend you pay to listen to your problems because your other friends are tired of hearing about them.