@lgbk44: Avoid office small talk by maintaining that facial expression between first sneeze and second sneeze
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@Lisabug74: My mom sometimes texts me pictures of Buddha with an inspirational text like: "Be kind to others, Evil Lisa"
@timdonakowski: Damn girl, are you an old ATM touchscreen? 'Cause I'm pushing ALL the wrong buttons.
@ficklenuts: “Everybody loves us weird girls, right up until we start doing weird girl shit,” I say to my cat, as we watch a documentary about serial killers in our matching onesies.