@lgbk44: Avoid office small talk by maintaining that facial expression between first sneeze and second sneeze
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@AlexRogaski: You don't serve tuna do you? "No sir, we don't serve fish here" *A family of tuna in fake mustaches whistles innocently at another table*
@Coops_Bradley: I'm still not a member of Jem and the Holograms and that is truly truly truly outrageous.
@krisv_723: *Watching tv* Him: wtf are you eating? Me: Cotton candy. *stuffing more in my mouth* The attic is full of it but I think it's stale.
@aPunch2theJunk: I work with a guy named Rick. I'm pretty sure he spells his name with a silent "P."