@Try2StopME: Avoid office small talk by maintaining that facial expression between first sneeze and second sneeze.
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@JimmerThatisAll: The problem with Chinese food is an hour later you feel like hacking the Pentagon again.
@carlyken: Told my coworker I want a dragon. He said I'm crazy for wanting anything that might set all my shit on fire but he's the one that's married.
@GlumGeorgeLucas: My interior decorator quit on her first day on the job. I told her to paint all the walls in my house to be green screens.