@NotthatAdamWest: Avril Lavigne and Chad Kroeger's engagement proves that not only is love blind, it's also deaf.
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@Lisa_Laughs_: I'm going to throw an awesome surprise party for my daughter when she gets home and realizes I know that she snuck out! SURPRISE!
@KKenuz: my beloved wife was on the second earth as it detached from our earth and drifted forever #FirstWorldProblems
@OrangeFact: My new favorite thing on Twitter is this three-year feud between Wendy's and a cabbage account