@ShoesOvaHoes: Aw damnnn😂😂😂😂😂😂
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@david8hughes: [in class] Me: hey, can I borrow a pen? Guy: sure, black or blue? Me [sweating & swelling up]: you got one for bee stings?
@AristotlesNZ: Wife: Maybe its time for "the talk" Me: Ok. Son, cops can't bust you for the drugs you've done, just the drugs you have. Her: Not that talk!
@THEINBREDCAT: Her: Do you have any kids? Me: I have 2 step kids Her: None of your own? Me: no Her: How come? Me: facials Her: I'm sorry what? Me: What?