@Rebecca8672: Awkward=when autocorrect changes 'sooner' to 'sober' so email to 8 yr. old's teacher reads "I apologize for not getting back to you sober"
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@InternetHippo: LUCY: Dad, how did I get my name? [flashback] ME (signing contract in blood): Ok but can we at least shorten it? LUCIFER: That's fine
@longwall26: If you love something, set it free. Maybe not sharks though. Or bees. Viruses. Lots of stuff really. Look, the point is don't love anything.
@XLToast: No son, you can't go out with your friends. Tonight we're installing Windows Updates, as a family.