@ElliceRocks: Aww you passed out, let's see what you've got in your wallet, shall we?
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@XplodingUnicorn: Me: Which cup do you want? 2-year-old: That one! Me: Let's pick a different one. 2-year-old: No! *drinks milk from a shot glass*
@fro_vo: [job interview] interviewer: where do you see yourself in 5 years? me: that's a trick question there is no c in any of those words
@mollymcnearney: Woman cut me off, stole my parking spot. I honked, flipped her off and went into yoga. Woman came into class as the instructor. Namaste.