@HuffPostComedy: Awww, how nice for wittle Jeb #JokeoftheDay #Conan
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@_The_Man__: Wife: The zoo called Me: [wearing hat made out of live lemurs] they say what they want?
@NicestHippo: [job interview] You sure you know what it means to be a real estate developer? [i picture myself yelling at a building to try harder] Yes
@Dutch_50: Good thing they specify all our brushes. Differentiating things like toothbrush from toilet brush can get confusing.