@Boleyngirly: Awww. It looks like the neighbors are having the police dept over for brunch..
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@XplodingUnicorn: Wife: You only half-listen to me. You're in a boatload of trouble. Me: Yes, let's buy a boat.
@GoldenSpirals: Mom called. She was worried. Thought maybe I moved because I haven't answered her email and she wouldn't know the new address to send it to.
@_SingleBabyMama: My phone died at the gym and I had to do the elliptical with zero entertainment like the pioneers did in the olden days.
@d_duhwit: *baby crying on plane* Guy beside me: Can there be anything worse then a baby crying on a plane. Me *pulling out kazoo*: Let's find out.