@TheZachCozad: Babies are 60% water, I can walk on babies, therefore I am 60% jesus
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@Love_bug1016: What separates the men from the boys is knowing that women love it when they show off their big throbbing manners and intelligence.
@kelkulus: My girlfriend and I are celebrating our anniversary tonight by breaking up six years ago.
@MamaFlores: 5yo slooowly walks by: "Hi, mom and dad." 4yo slooowly walks by: "Hi, mom and dad." CODE RED CODE RED
@iwearaonesie: me *walks into house* wife: Where are the kids? me *turns around and goes back out*