@weinerdog4life: Babies are just like turtles, keep them in water and also feed them turtle food.
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@Adar79Angie: When the girl working the counter says "would you like fries with that?" say.."are you calling me fat??" then burst into tears. Free meal.
@hippieswordfish: WANTED: ladder. must be in working condition. bring it by 5134 parker st, it's the big yellow house with a guy on the roof
@caseytduncan: People say I'm a bad person, but they're just jealous that they can't kick pigeons as far as I can.