@weinerdog4life: Babies are just like turtles, keep them in water and also feed them turtle food.
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@thepunningman: Robocop: I am Robotcop Criminal: You don't say the t you robo moron R: [visibly confused] Pu down he gun you are under arres
@JumbledButts: STEVE: "Wanna go star gazing tonight?" ME: "What is that? Like a sci fi movie?" S: "No we watch stars." M: "Wars or Trek?"
@LindaInDisguise: The difference between your husband and your Netflix account is, over time, your Netflix account learns what you like.