@weinerdog4life: Babies are just like turtles, keep them in water and also feed them turtle food.
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@ArfMeasures: ME: Then the robber came thru the door holding a gun COP: Was it a revolver? ME [thinks] No he just pushed it open & walked thru like normal
@concretesledge_: The tag on this hot tub reads "6 man" when I clearly ordered a 1 man 5 woman hot tub. This one is going back!
@KevinFarzad: Sometimes u see the moon during the day and it's like, wow, how embarrassing. Showed up early because you were bored? Get a life, nerd moon.