@weinerdog4life: Babies are just like turtles, keep them in water and also feed them turtle food.
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@MariyaAlexander: People need to stop posting denigrating photo memes of animals; they have dignity and deserve respect. Oh that's Rick Santorum? Ok carry on.
@bobvulfov: DRUG DEALER: what'll it be man ME: *wearing a wire* some drugs please [at the surveillance van] DEA AGENT: did he just say some drugs
@MartaEffing: A bead of sweat forms on my brow. And another. Intensity builds as I decide my future and embrace it. "I'll take the maple bar, please."