@SortaBad: Babies are like Starbucks because they're expensive as shit and yet you still forget them on the roof of your car
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@Tmoney68: I'll never understand women. A species that loathes you for asking their age, but tortures you forever if you forget their birthday.
@punmagnate: Accidentally made eye contact w/co-worker thru bathroom stall door crack. Didn't know what to do so I blew him a kiss
@1slowery1: *Creates Animals* God: They're magnificent. Angel: Some of ur best work. Man: Which ones go on pizza?