@OhNoSheTwitnt: Babies are like tattoos. They're yours forever and maybe wait a few days before posting pictures of them so they're not all gross looking.
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@simoncholland: I'm sorry you're breaking up [static sound] I'm about to go through a tunnel. Dad, we're right in front of you Uh..... go ask your mom.
@CherBear162: Hi..You've reached my voicemail. I could come to the phone right now but I saw your name on caller ID so leave a message..or not.
@PaperWash: I'm sorry son, but autocorrect keeps changing your name to Marty. That's your new name now, there's nothing we can do about it.