@TheCatWhisprer: Babies are okay if you're into alarm clocks that poop.
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@dreamthievin: People who bend down to pick up a thread instead of running over it with the vacuum 37 times, what's it like to exercise?
@13spencer: A dashcam video of a cop lip-syncing and dancing to a Taylor Swift song went viral, which is just one more reason to hate the police.
@TheMichaelRock: Don't be scared of the government shutdown, liquor stores are run by the states.