@DanielJHannan: Babies are very like governments, you know. Constant appetite at one end, constant mess at the other. And they only ever get bigger.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@TommyKarate: Forgot to open the door before applying hand lotion so now I'm stuck in my restroom forever.
@Donna_McCoy: Reduce stage fright with a little vodka before the show. Bring enough vodka for everyone, and you won't even have to perform.
@avxlanche: the difference between me and humpty dumpty is that his friends looked at him and thought to themselves "we should put him back together"