@albz: Babies love to shake things, but hate to be shaken. It's like, pick a side, babies.
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@ilovepie84: "Jesus take the wheel" -an Asian man telling the police that a Mexican guy stole his rims off his Honda Civic.
@Mikecanrant: I dropped out of law school when I found out that badgering the witness has nothing to do with throwing woodland creatures at defendants.
@_GoldieLox: STOP PUTTING SIRENS IN MUSIC FOR PETE'S SAKE! I let my hair down & undid two buttons before i realized i wasn't getting pulled over!
@jordan_stratton: Don't be a doormat for people to walk all over. Be a FAKE doormat over a trapdoor that leads to a secret pit of cobras.