@KalvinMacleod: Baby elephants migrate hundreds of miles to find water. My 6 year old is lying on the floor of the mall because I made him walk from the car
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@chuuew: [baby taking first step] ME: OMG! He's doing it! BABY: My name is Steve and I'm an alcoholic
@goldengateblond: There's a crying baby on my bus and I'm all "shut up baby, you're not the one going to work."
@Book_Krazy: [Dinner date] I'm a T-shirt and jeans kind of girl, so I guess I'm kinda a momgirl "You mean tomgirl?" Don't talk with your mouth full.