@SteveSuckington: [comes home from store] Wife: [shaking her head] Let me guess... earmuffs were on sale? Me: [wearing 17 pairs of earmuffs] WHAT?

@thebeckyard: Angry beavers can't get our packaging open, but go ahead and try in your weakened state lol -cold medicine companies

@krishna_van: I have many hidden talents. Just wish I could find 'em.

@RealPrincessKim: Find a group doing river baptisms. Release LSD into the water upstream. Bring friends in devil costumes. Cavort and frolic on the riverbank.

@The_Mentalyst: In a parallel universe, Two bars walk into a man.