@Steelers1972: Baby, I would run into a burning building from you.
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@turtledumplin: Why would anyone come on Twitter JUST to argue? Don't you have an ex, or a spouse, or a family member that you can argue with?
@Sickayduh: [Ring] "Expert Namer Guy" You the dude that named anteater? "Yep" I got a bug. Not moving. Has wings though. "Mayfly" *muffled* oh he's good
@LizHackett: Keen silence from a dinner guest as she looks across the living room and realizes I made her bridesmaid dress into a dog bed.
@iamch0pper: if you ever get caught sleeping on the job... slowly raise your head and say, "in jesus name amen"