@NotJPo: "Baby, I'm gonna make you mine."
- sweet talker forcing someone to be a coal miner
@TeaAndCopy: Me: Excuse me, where's the rowing boat equipment?
Employee: Keep going down there, Oar Aisle.
Me: Or you'll what?
@bigmacher: #IHaveJustEnoughMoneyTo pay my phone bill so I can call my credit card company to tell them I don't have money to pay them.
@FaisalAdam_: This, being a gentleman thing really works. Women just fall for me when I offer them my handkerchief. Sure it's dabbed in chloroform...
@iwearaonesie: me *choking*
cat [annoyed] Trying to sleep here
@3sunzzz: Monday 8am: I write a list of things that must get done today.
Monday 6pm: I scratch MON off of the top of the entire list and write TUES.