@NotJPo: "Baby, I'm gonna make you mine."
- sweet talker forcing someone to be a coal miner
@Marilyn_Brando: [Shipwrecked diary]
Day 1: I found a pen, and a notebook to write in. More pens. I might be in a Staples. Printer paper. I'm in a Staples.
@iwearaonesie: *wife spends all morning convincing son not to be afraid of the dentist*
"Dad are you coming too?"
Hell no dentists scare the shit out of me
@chrizmillr: Weird how Superman's an alien but looks exactly like a white dude & then he landed in Kansas & not say, mainland China
@weinerdog4life: Everyone at the office is going crazy because I faxed someone a hot dog
@daemonic3: I don't think Harambe would have wanted this