@Smethanie: Baby, let's stay up all night and watch people Instagram the sunrise.
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@gabemakesmusic: My 5 year plan is to get an amp for my bass. That fish sure does love his energy drinks
@semenphantom: *opens door to show you my enormous stash of apples* "The doctors will attack soon, and I will be the only one prepared."
@GoddessTitty: [Home invasion] Me: isn't there anything ELSE you want to take? Burglar: lady I told you I'm married