@ceejoyner: Baby needs a costume? Wrap it in tin foil. Baked potato. Next question.
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@hbreaker9999: My husband has a blanket pulled up over his face. I think this means he wants me to talk to him.
@SexySillyGrl: You call it nervousness or having the jitters. I call it, I think my body was possessed by a meth addict in detox. Samesies?
@KeetPotato: dad: "start a rumour so people are scared of you" me: "ok" [later] cellmate: "i kill people for money" me: "i brush my teeth with hot water"