@AndyAsAdjective: Baby, tonight let's put the kids to bed, pour some wine, turn the lights down low & argue over whose turn it is to move the Elf on the Shelf
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@FunnyMojoJojo: I think Newton was actually hit by pigeon shit when he discovered gravity.. Falling of apple was just a 'dignified' cover up...!!
@clarkekant: Ask your doctor if an unnecessary over-prescribed medication so he can get kickbacks from a pharmaceutical company is right for you.
@trouteyes: BREAKING: A man who took British Airways to court after his luggage went missing has lost his case.