@Smethanie: Baby, you're a firework: You hold my interest for about 15 minutes and scare the shit out of my dog.
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@WheelTod: "Dad?" "Yes, son?" "Where do busboys come from?" "Well, son. When a boy loves a bus very, very much..."
@murrman5: what's wrong son? that kid said he's cooler than me what? impossible. what kid? *in my head im like don't be the kid with pegs on his bike*
@ExcuseMyTweets: The Bank of America app randomly disappeared off my phone and now I'm wondering how much money I spent last night.