@Smethanie: Baby, you're a firework: You hold my interest for about 15 minutes and scare the shit out of my dog.
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@SteveSuckington: Her: "Add insult to injury why don't you" Me: "Your broken leg looks fat in that cast"
@Reverend_Scott: Good thing Father's Day is only one day. I don't think I could stand to be a father longer than that.
@hythemafia: *Food hits floor* Little Germs: "Let's get it!" King Germ: "No!!! We must wait 5 seconds......"