@torrami: Babysitting Pro Tip: Make them play Dungeons & Dragons until they love it so their parents will never have to worry about teenage pregnancy.
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@Cravin4: Marital Law & Martial Law while look similar have very different meanings... .. Except at my house.
@daemonic3: HIM: Happy birthday, honey! I got you a gift basket, just like you wanted HER: Oh thanks! What's in it? HIM: What do you mean, "in it"?
@charliedelta7: McD's drive thru: Welcome back. Me: Welcome back? That's pretty presumptuous. MDT: ... M: ... MDT: The usual? Me: Yeah. Thanks Brenda.
@junejuly12: *adds another woman to the stick figure family decals on this car window* And now we wait.