@redherringbear: Back in college, I used to hang a sock on the doorknob when I wanted to signal my roommate that I had no idea how to fold laundry.
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@iAmDelFreaky: I was practicing moves on a stripper pole, when all of a sudden I heard a loud ringing. Then 3 firemen fell from the sky and crushed me.
@junejuly12: When I see a man with long fingernails, my first thought is wizard My second thought is virgin wizard
@david8hughes: Being a parent is the most rewarding job in the world. Unless you have a job where the reward is, for example, getting paid.