@AndyRichter: Back in my day when we found a Pokémon we had to beat it to death with a rotary phone
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@dshack8: Anytime I'm watching something on tv my wife starts talking to me as if her words are going to expire if she doesn't use them.
@Ivsy01: Put all your neighbors names on your Halloween tombstones in your front yard and wink when you're outside and they walk by.
@FuckabillyRex: "Sorry, I have to take this call." "That's a banana. And it's half eaten." *covers banana with hand "I don't tell you how to do business."
@ohthatbadger: The year is 3426, all of humanity is extinct. Supernatural is somehow still on every week with new episodes.