@amydillon: Back-to-school tip for parents: while not explicitly forbidden, it is frowned upon to spray champagne on the hood of a departing school bus.
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@IMBeanz: When I'm really bored at work I like to write "I'm watching you" on the toilet paper a few squares in just to mess with people.
@SufficientCharm: The easiest way to confuse a man is to wear a straight jacket that accentuates your cleavage.
@RealSamHarwood: Unless you are literally the Dark Lord Voldemort then a snake is just not an acceptable pet dude
@envydatropic: Like my nana used to always say, "screen shots say more about the person sharing them than anything else"