@amydillon: Back-to-school tip for parents: while not explicitly forbidden, it is frowned upon to spray champagne on the hood of a departing school bus.
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@cbme69: [Leaving ballgame] Officer: have you been drinking? Me: Yes, but I assure you officer I can't afford to get drunk there.
@Swishergirl24: Romeo and Juliet is my favorite story about idiot teenagers who don't know the difference between sleeping and dead