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@dumbbeezie: Back to the Future but it’s just me trying to break my parents up at the school dance
@divyne_mess: Sure I'll hold your baby,but you should know I dropped my phone like five times today.
@causticbob: Yelling at a dog to stop barking doesn't work. The dog probably just thinks,
"Awesome, now we're both barking."
@PS_IRuddYou: 7yr old: What's 10+10+10+25+25+5+1+1?
@Brentweets: San Andreas is just like Godzilla only Godzilla is invisible
@david8hughes: Her: I’m not like other girls
Me, knows no other girls: ah that’s good to hear