@edgarrants: Bad idea? Son, I got married in my 20s. Ideas don't get any worse than that.
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@jimmyfallon: My cousin told everyone he could do a backflip. We all gathered around him. He said, “I can’t do it if you’re watching.” #MyFamilyIsWeird
@ImaFlyontheWall: Drunk me used to set a "Mystery Alarm" on my phone to pop up and confuse daytime sober me
@carlyken: So far my toddler's most impressive defense mechanism is pooping his pants every time anyone rings our doorbell.