@ChipKellysBalls: Bad news: pulled a muscle. Good news: implied presence of muscle ...
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@Thrill_Tweeter: Twitter - to help future generations discover if there's ever been any mental illness in the family.
@LizHackett: "What if I took the dumbest person I know, got them severely drunk, and challenged them to finish my sentences?" -- inventor of Autocorrect
@okmatchhead: If the voices in my head had a British accent, I would do what they say more often.
@Ideal_Victoria: Shhhhh! I can't hear about how God spoke to you! I'm busy listening to my toaster tell me about his day.