@ChipKellysBalls: Bad news: pulled a muscle. Good news: implied presence of muscle ...
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@CynthiaJEllis: News: Ireland has now legalized ecstasy, meth, and mushrooms due to an unexpected legal loophole. In other news: I have a plane to catch.
@THEINBREDCAT: Her: Do you have any kids? Me: I have 2 step kids Her: None of your own? Me: no Her: How come? Me: facials Her: I'm sorry what? Me: What?
@Shot_Of_Cabo: She: Why don't we ever have sex anymore? Me: What's this "we" shit? I'm having plenty.
@Beyerstein: Primaries are like childbirth. After a great deal pain, yelling, and recrimination, everyone forgets how awful it was until the next time.