@vinnycrack: bae is acting so cute and imaginary tonight
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@kevinrowe1: At my age, a new driver's license doesn't have an Expires On date. It has a Renew If You Haven't Expired On date.
@MyHairyLife: Male seahorses get pregnant. In related news, scientists believe men who tell women what to with their bodies come back as seahorses.
@_TeaChap: Scientology, because even Jehovah Witnesses need something to laugh at after a hard day of knocking on doors.
@lisaandtots: Hit 1,000 followers and a 100 star tweet on the same day! Do you know what that means?! 900 of you don't read my shit.