@vinnycrack: bae is acting so cute and imaginary tonight
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@shawnspree: To catch a woman, one must think like a woman. *places glass of wine, and Channing Tatum dvd on mouse trap
@mattytalks: I was fired from my job at the sperm bank for saying "get a load of this guy" every time someone walked in
@TEXASVETERAN: Neighbor thinks I'm stalking her. Any time she hears a noise she is purified. Petrified! Sorry, not easy reading a diary thru binoculars.
@ThisOneSayz: Woman to friend at store: We can get shrimp for people who don't eat meat! Me: don't forget the cheese for the lactose intolerant people!