@TheWoodenslurpy: BAKER: Baking is a science that requires precision, timing, and accurate measurements. OK... 11, 12, 13. Anyway, here’s a dozen cupcakes.
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@Ohhialypie: Girls: I'd invite you in but my place is a mess Guys: I don't mind Girls: Like a huge mess Guys: ok Girls: Like dead bodies on fire Guys: ok
@gobmentcheese: The brownies I started making in my Easy Bake Oven in 1987 are ready if you guys want one.
@KrissiBex: My family said if I don’t get a Facebook, they’d all get a Twitter I sacrificed myself for all of twitter kind I’m the Jesus of social media
@qwertying: My son managed to lock the car with my keys still in the ignition. He suggest a coat hanger. I said we’re a few years too late for that.