@justliamwilson: So in 2016 I've decided to leave all the negative people behind. So im sorry if i owe you money because im moving on from that now.

@stockejock: Grandma, stop asking people what they're supposed to be for Halloween-this is Walmart.

@juliussharpe: I wish Bond movies gave a more realistic view of his jet lag and traveler's diarrhea.

@ThaJawn: *sees neighbors bringing in KFC *knocks on door Have you seen my dog she got out *teary eyed Neighbor: Aw. No, but if there's- Some KFC?

@EddieHarris216: Announcer: The referee has thrown a yellow flag. A red flag, a green, an orange, a blue. I'm now being told a magician has run on the field.