@SamGrittner: Baller is short for ballerina
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@dafloydsta: Fun game: if someone wants to shake your hand, sniff your fingers first and then see if they still want to.
@ericsshadow: My wife googled "when is it safe to leave a child at home alone" and now she won't let me stay home alone.
@moose_chocolate: I will selflessly protect my family from a life of diabetes by eating the entire box of donuts.
@shariv67: Boy, your name must be Adobe cuz when you call me up for a date, I say "Ask me again later."