@SamGrittner: Baller is short for ballerina
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@Rollmaninoz: Cop: *with my license* says here you're supposed to wear glasses Me: I have contacts Cop: I don't care who you know, put your glasses on
@joemcshutup: Taylor Swift told Vanity Fair she's not a "clingy, insane, desperate girlfriend" through various voicemails and texts at 3 AM
@LosLos__: •speed dating• I'm looking for a girl with fire in her eyes. Her: Hi. My name is Carrie.