@TheBananaFacts: Bananas will never talk shit about you. Not because they don't have mouths....but because they respect the choices you make.
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@gorrdano: I'm throwing myself a circumcision party tomorrow, so anybody with a scalpel and a steady hand, stop on by. Jews welcome only with gift.
@lcwf70: Failed Hallmark card: I'm sorry I stabbed you with a fork when you leaned in to kiss me. I thought you were going to take my taco.
@DrDogMD: PATIENT: Doc, I haven't been able to bone my wife lately and I really think- DR DOG: Wait. Tell me more about the bone part
@ryan_rachryan80: I use so many age defying crinkle creams that I don't have finger prints anymore.