@bobvulfov: BANK ROBBER: ok hands in the air. nobody move. slide to the left. slide to the right. take it back now y'all. one hop this time
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@NicCageMatch: A surprise party on someone's birthday isn't surprising. A better time would be 3-4 months after their birthday, in the middle of the night.
@my_minivan_life: Just discovered my 7yo wearing his underwear backwards again. Playing classical music while pregnant is bullshit.
@Pundamentalism: Alligators can live up to 100 years, which is why there's an increased chance that they will see you later.
@yonewt: This town's getting on my nerves, gonna blow off some steam by doing a dance routine at the abandoned warehouse.