@ajlobster: Banking tips
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@WittySassBasket: M: HEY, DID YOU REMEMBER CONDOMS? H: FFS, use your inside voice M: *whispers* did you remember condoms? H: can this wait til after mass?
@Tierno158: When I refer to kids as "Snot-dripping, germ-spreading spawns of Satan" I hope you realize I'm not referring specifically to YOUR children.
@10InchesPlus: You call it armed robbery, I call it people giving me gifts to celebrate my new gun!
@OhNoSheTwitnt: Twitter comedian: I'm the greatest tweeter alive! Kanye: Even I don't want that title.