@plumbur: Banning us to the couch is not as bad as you believe it is ladies. It makes us feel manly. Like we're camping. With an angry bear close by.
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@QwertyJones3: My excitement about your Indian food is largely dependent on your pronunciation of "cumin".
@nbadag: NASA: what makes u qualified for our mission to mars? ME: i desperately want to be shot into deep space, where there are definitely no geese
@ianabramson: I just found out that they made an entire movie based on my favorite Will Smith song “Men in Black.”
@kwirkyKerri: I darkened my hair and now people expect me to be smart too. It's exhausting. Send bleach.