@ThingsJackDigs: Baptisms were invented by a guy who had to explain why he was caught trying to drown a baby.
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@thatUPSdude: How is "Shark spotted swimming off the coast" news worthy? Now if a shark was seen walking off the coast that's different.
@Mom_Overboard: Cop: You there! Hands over your head! Me: *raises hands* *30 avocados fall out of shirt* Cop: Holy guacamole!
@AdamOfEarth: Science is tricky. Keeps you on your toes. Mineralogy? Study of minerals. Oceanology? Study of oceans. Meteorology? NOT ABOUT METEORS.
@dafloydsta: I lost my job today "What? How?" I just wasn't a good housekeeper "BUT YOU'RE A BEEKEEPER" Well that explains all the screaming