@ThingsJackDigs: Baptisms were invented by a guy who had to explain why he was caught trying to drown a baby.
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@duplicitron: If you smoke while you're pregnant your baby comes out wearing a t-shirt and jeans looking cool as hell.
@serialmatrix: If god can artificially inseminate someone, why did he need two of every animal on the ark to repopulate the world?
@jasonmustian: "Did it hurt...when you fell from heaven and lost the use of your legs?"--bad pick-up line to use on a handicapped person