@Dadpression: "This may be our 85th viewing of this movie, but we'll watch it as intently as if it was only our 23rd" -Toddlers

@Badass_Brunelli: Alice in Wonderland taught me to drink things that I'm unsure of

@carlyken: Hello 911 my son is a terrorist he won't eat AMERICAN cheese. Almost two. Yes I'll hold. Hello Child Protection Services my son is a terrori

@House_Feminist: My 5 year old is stuck inside a duvet cover right now so I think I'm going to go for a walk and just let Darwin solve this one.

@JD_KC: You can't fix stupid but you can fantasize about slapping the shit out of it.