@VeryLonelyLuke: I laughed at Yoda for hiding in a swamp Then again, he's the only Jedi to ever die from old age Maybe he knew what he was doing after all.

@ceejoyner: PENSIVE MAN: the most terrifying enemy we face is the fear within PERSON WHO NARROWLY SURVIVED A GRIZZLY ATTACK: or a bear

@doktorj: If we were in a fight, I'd mop the floor with you... Except I don't do housework.

@thepunningman: Me: Janet's boyfriend reminds me of Gandhi Wife: He looks nothing like him Janet's bf: [tapping on car window] Don't forget about Gandhi

@Maxine12333: The only way I'd get within six feet of some people is if I'm standing on their grave.