@Jandalize: As a mom of 18 & 20 year olds: save while your kids are young, then at graduation, buy yourself a new car & send them to community college.

@Contwixt: "Shrooms before brooms," I say to the coven of stereotypical witches who have quite magically appeared in my living room.

@_ISpeakTrue: Guys aren't the only one who get friendzoned! I'm so deep in the friendzone that I've met his girlfriends parents

@SnizzleFrizzle: "Your breathing holes are very nicely shaped" Flirting is so easy

@ModelWithACause: Mary Had a Little Lamb, Little Lamb, Little Lamb. Maybe she wasn't that hungry.