@AnkCoupleTO: Bartender: A shot of whiskey can cleanse the soul
Me: *thinks back to the time I "experimented" in college* I'll take 27 bottles please
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@desi_princess: My favorite nudes.... Bwahahaha!!
@jctwritesstuff: *rocks out at concert* *holds up lighter* *millennials scream* *mass chaos, crying* *I'm tackled* *one old guy high-fives me as I go down*
@ManiacallySound: I seruptitously flicked a booger on a guy who was being mean to his wife. If this is what being a sniper feels like, I like it.
@freedom2726: When someone asks me if I'm busy, it always sounds like a trick question.
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