@heartlessX0: Bartender: "Do you want a drink, miss?"nnMe: "What are my choices?"nnBartender: "Yes or No."
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@jwoodham: DATING TIP: Pick up the check. Pick up the table. Pick up the chairs and the waitress and the bartender. Everyone loves upper body strength.
@Death_Buddy: *On date* Her: hey, how are you? Me: yeah really g.. BRAIN: *interrupting* TELL HER THAT RAP ABOUT ANTS YOU MADE UP ON THE WAY HERE.
@ThisLocalHater: To the middle-aged guy in front of me at the bookstore buying several martial arts books: Is that even legal with your lack of ponytail?
@KababPapi: Americans: Muslims are so violent Me: ok but police co- Americans: shut up. Don't judge a group of people based off a select few.