@simoncholland: Based on all the white smoke billowing out, I think my lawn mower just picked a new pope.
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@fro_vo: "hey mister can i pet your dog?" "sure kid" "what kind is he?" "that there's a pure beef vienna son careful don't get mustard on your shirt"
@angibangie: The last time my heart beat this fast I was at my boyfriend's parent's house and the toilet water was rising... -My best pickup line